Shamed By AT&T

The long and short is that I need a new phone, we might get a family plan, and I love watching my programs (especially Gossip Girl). 


Me: Hi- I was wondering if you could help walk me through some pricing for a family plan- the website was a little confusing.
AT&T Chump: HemHaw- I really need to know what your husband's plan is.
Me: Ok- well we don't have that information so let's just speak generically. What are some options.....
Chump: Well if you get 700 hundred minutes, then divide by x, and multiply by the square root of 77 then the result is $20 cheaper than the 1400 minute plan. 
Me: Soooooo what's the price?
Chump: Maybe $170? I really don't know. 
Me: Very clear and helpful. Thanks for your time. 
Chump: But wait! Do you know about our uverse? You can bundle internet, cable, and home phone into one low cost!!!!!!!
Me: Well we don't have a phone or a TV so that isn't a good fit. 
Chump: So you don't have TV service or don't have a TV?
Me: No TV
Chump: Well I think that if you sign up now we'll send you a $200 Visa giftcard. Then you can go and BUY a TV. 
Me: Click