When the Cat's Away, the Mice will Play

Paul, once again you have left town for the weekend, except this time you'll be returning with a fab tan from fishing in Florida with your Dad. I imagine I'll never hear the end of it. 
Ah well, it frees up time to hang out with my other two boyfriends. 

Now I've cleaned the entire house today, and I have yet to find the Cadbury Cream Eggs you supposedly hid for me. You did hide them, didn't you?
I probably don't need them anyway, as I'm a closet eater, and have been consuming massive amounts of junk food for most of the weekend. Did you think I could survive on just Broccoli alone?
Please come home soon before I expand a la Violet Beauregarde (minus the blue tint), and have to be rolled around. Then popped with a pin to fit out the door. Please!